im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
