Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
