i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am mentally ready for anal.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
