I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize