how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My bed smells like the plague
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
