We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
