Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I love you. Go after that dick
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
