I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize