She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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