Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
