I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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