once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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