Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
