what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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