See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
