Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
