He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
