lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
