I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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