I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
