I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
