you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
