Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
