Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
