At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
