so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
