in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
