Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dignity is for republicans.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
