yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize