You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
