well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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