No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
