Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Houston, we have a squirter
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
