Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize