We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize