these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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