why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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