Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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