This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
