she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
