you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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