i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
