Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
