I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
