you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
