i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
