Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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