u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
