I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
