I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
