I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
