I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
