margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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