check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
