i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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