Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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