you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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