What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
