so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
