omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
