im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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