why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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