you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you made out with another girl for some wings
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
