so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
